Answer me honestly…
Does being introverted prevent you from having success with women?
I gotta admit, I’m not the most outgoing guy in the world.
And for a long time it held me back.
Most of the guys that come to me for training are the same way – it’s kind of an unspoken thing that guys studying pickup all share.
Guys who are naturally outgoing and social naturally meet a lot of women and
typically have decent dating lives.
It’s actually quite rare that a guy like this ends up in one of my workshops,
because extroverted guys don’t suffer enough to have the motivation for change.
They meet women, at least occasionally, and usually have girlfriend, or meet
enough women to keep them reasonably satisfied sexually.
Some of us are just born introverts, and it can be really tough because that
usually means struggling to meet women.
Before I go on I want to make a couple points about the concept of introversion/extroversion, and what’s normal.
I think most people who come across as extroverts are not quite as extroverted
and social as they’d have you believe.
In fact, I think that extroversion is really about the person VALUING being
social, rather than actually BEING social.
Let me explain…
If you think it’s cool to have tons of friends and have a lot of people around
you and know you, then you will want to present that image to others.
If you are an introvert, you don’t care because you value other things like
thinking, learning, and more solo-oriented activities like art or video games.
But here’s the thing – introversion and extroversion are just outward expressions of an inner value.
They are literally scientific constructs.
In reality, it’s all gray area: one guy can be really interested in people and have an extensive social network, but outwardly, he’s very quiet and tends to be neurotic and analytical.
So is he an extrovert or introvert?
Another guy might think that if he doesn’t look like he has a lot of friends, people will think he’s a loser.
So he arranges to have a bunch of acquaintances meet up at a local pub for drinks, even though he’d rather stay home and read a book.
Let’s move away from these two concepts for a second.
Let me ask you a question…
What do you want with women?
Do you want a connection?
One special girl for possibly marriage?
Whatever your answer, I’m going to tell you right now…
You CAN have it!
Now this may seem hard to believe if you are a self-described “introvert.”
If you enjoy solo activities and tend to spend a lot of time in your head, you may think you are an introvert.
Heck – maybe you are!
But who cares?
I come from an academic background, and my trainer and Attraction Code co-author Brian studied social psychology in college.
And we both come to the same consensus – that most psychological constructs, or “personality types” are bullshit.
First of all, humans are extremely adaptable – we are like water, and can
change if we put our will behind our intention for change.
Secondly, you can’t capture the essence of a dynamic, living breathing person with words.
Society LOVES to label people.
It makes things easier – why get to know a person when you can just put them in a box and not think about it anymore?!
I don’t mean to sound bitter…it’s just that for most of my life, I was told that I was introverted and shy.
I’m DEFINITELY not shy.
I’m just quiet.
There’s a BIG DIFFERENCE.
I’m not afraid to speak…I just prefer peace and calmness.
I’m not unhappy…I’m just thinking about how things work.
For a long time, I BELIEVED what OTHER PEOPLE told me about MYSELF.
Think about that – OTHER PEOPLE, telling ME, about ME!
And by believing that I was shy and introverted, my self image was NOT that
of an attractive guy – the kind of guy women like.
I assumed that I was awkward and that women saw me as a quiet nerd.
Girls think of themselves like that too…and no I don’t mean actual nerdy girls.
I mean BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.
Anyways, that’s beside the point.
It was only after I forced myself out of my comfort zone and approached tons and tons of women that I realized that
a) women don’t think I’m weird and nerdy
b) it doesn’t even matter
Because you know what?
Quiet guys, smart guys, NERDY GUYS, meet women too!
I know because I do it, and I know a lot of other guys that do as well.
You see, if you label yourself an introvert, the only barrier holding you
back is the label itself…and the image attached to it.
I now picture myself as a quiet, smart, smooth guy.
I don’t walk into a place and befriend everybody.
I walk in, relax, soak in the vibe, and pick my woman.
And I slide right in there…
If you are a quiet guy, and you’d rather be thinking than talking, there is
NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
You just have to adapt, and figure out a way to meet women despite the fact that
you don’t like to spend a lot of time socializing.
Like I said, almost all of my students are like this.
The Attraction Code was written FOR guys like this.
If you’re thinking – “oh I’m too
quiet / shy / reserved / introverted”
to go out and meet women, stop right now.
Just because you don’t feel like chit chatting all day and all night doesn’t
mean you shouldn’t have amazing women in your life.
You deserve the women you want.
Stop letting OTHERS tell you what you can have.
If you’re ready to take control of your life, then I URGE you to grab a copy of the Attraction Code.